Post by Mack on Jan 30, 2012 5:30:59 GMT -5
MEVAC Rules
The purpose of MEVAC is to give men a place to go to learn about ending the behavior of verbal abuse and control and discuss this process with other supportive, like-minded men. It is a very supportive, positive and loving place where all men working on this life-change can support eachother in their common goal.
This board DOES NOT deal with battering or physical abuse. There are many places to go for help with physical abuse. If you are a batterer who is ACTIVELY working on his verbal abuse also, then of course, you are welcome.
MEVAC is ONLY for verbally abusive and controlling men who TRULY want to change. MEVAC access and membership is reserved for men working on reform. Anyone simply doing research will not be granted access and we ask that victims who have so generously posted in the past and are in need of support visit one of the many websites devoted to their needs. (www.verbalabuse.com has a huge forum for women only)------------------------------------------------------------
Posting Rules
1) Personal business solicitations of the 'recruitment' type are not within the scope of this Bulletin Board's purpose and will be removed.
2) Users must register in order to post. Do not use your last name in your username. Posting your story in the "Your Stories" forum is helpful as a way for board members to get to know you and welcome you to the board. If you change your username, it is helpful if you would post your previous board name in your posts for a while.
3) Scripture use is permitted and encouraged.
4) It is our hope and desire that all who use this board will operate with encouragement and kindness. Those who do not act in a kind, gentle and supportive manner will be removed.
5) Mevac has the right to delete/edit any messages that we feel are not appropriate. Notice will not be sent out or posted when posts are deleted or modified.
6) Please carefully consider your words and subject matter. Re-read your post before you hit "submit reply". Editing and deleting (by poster request) of threads by the moderators will be RARE and done on a case-by-case basis at the discretion of the moderator team.
7) Discussions about specific situations and issues will be allowed as long as they remain respectful and polite. Please refrain from making generalizations and judgments regarding your victims. Moderators reserve the right to edit/delete/lock any thread that is deemed inappropriate or over the line. If you wish to have a discussion that you know could spark controversy then email that to the admin(Mack) directly.
Posting Considerations
1) Is it encouraging?... Will it make the person that you are posting to feel better and/or bring him closer to healing and ending verbal abuse and control?
2) Is it necessary?... Will it be useful and practical to the person that you are posting to (or might it be unwanted counsel)?
3) Are you angry?.... Take a deep breath…Go Slow, Be careful, Show respect to others and let us know what is going on and we will listen.
4) Are you engaged in conversation that would be better done more privately?...If you have found a friend and want to chat, please do it in the journals.
5) Do you have a contrasting view? Do you disagree?... If so, PLEASE do it kindly and WITH HUMILITY.
6) Please do not post a message that you would not say to that person face to face.
7) MEVAC is a public place. Do not post email addresses, phone numbers or personal information for security reasons.
8) As a courtesy to other posters, please get permission before quoting someone's words in any place other than on the MEVAC bulletin board (i.e. emailing them to someone, another forum, e.t.c.)
9) To avoid name-calling you must post details. If you post a report or complaint of someone saying or doing something abusive or hurtful you must describe it in detail. If someone posts "my spouse has been so abusive lately it is killing me!" but they post no examples and details stating clearly what their spouse has done or said which is abusive then the complaint or report itself can be slanderous and abusive. Anyone accused of abuse or VAC behavior deserves to have the abuse clarified and named. Simply because someone has admitted to VAC behavior in the past does not mean that another person is now allowed to just state that there was abuse again without naming it specifically. Any posts with name calling, defining or blaming statements without details included will be deleted.
10) Please make your speech and word choices carefully. Moderators will edit or delete as necessary. Profanity will not be allowed. Users who use profanity will be removed. If in describing a situation it is necessary as a quote to use profanity use the asterisk system...the word edit becomes e***. No First Person Profanity or acronyms of profanity.
While we encourage discussion, please remember that we are not all the same. We come from different races, beliefs, and cultures. We must be respectful and mindful of the feelings of others. We are to be kind, gentle, and encouraging.
Men Ending Verbal Abuse and Control should always be Gentle, Stable, Humble, Loving, Caring, Compassionate, Empathetic, Strong in heart...Let's remember this while posting.
If you choose to participate on the MEVAC bulletin board, you are agreeing to follow these rules and guidelines whether or not you agree with the rules, administrators or moderators. MEVAC reserves the right to ban/deny membership to anyone who violates our rules and/or policies.
The purpose of MEVAC is to give men a place to go to learn about ending the behavior of verbal abuse and control and discuss this process with other supportive, like-minded men. It is a very supportive, positive and loving place where all men working on this life-change can support eachother in their common goal.
This board DOES NOT deal with battering or physical abuse. There are many places to go for help with physical abuse. If you are a batterer who is ACTIVELY working on his verbal abuse also, then of course, you are welcome.
MEVAC is ONLY for verbally abusive and controlling men who TRULY want to change. MEVAC access and membership is reserved for men working on reform. Anyone simply doing research will not be granted access and we ask that victims who have so generously posted in the past and are in need of support visit one of the many websites devoted to their needs. (www.verbalabuse.com has a huge forum for women only)------------------------------------------------------------
Posting Rules
1) Personal business solicitations of the 'recruitment' type are not within the scope of this Bulletin Board's purpose and will be removed.
2) Users must register in order to post. Do not use your last name in your username. Posting your story in the "Your Stories" forum is helpful as a way for board members to get to know you and welcome you to the board. If you change your username, it is helpful if you would post your previous board name in your posts for a while.
3) Scripture use is permitted and encouraged.
4) It is our hope and desire that all who use this board will operate with encouragement and kindness. Those who do not act in a kind, gentle and supportive manner will be removed.
5) Mevac has the right to delete/edit any messages that we feel are not appropriate. Notice will not be sent out or posted when posts are deleted or modified.
6) Please carefully consider your words and subject matter. Re-read your post before you hit "submit reply". Editing and deleting (by poster request) of threads by the moderators will be RARE and done on a case-by-case basis at the discretion of the moderator team.
7) Discussions about specific situations and issues will be allowed as long as they remain respectful and polite. Please refrain from making generalizations and judgments regarding your victims. Moderators reserve the right to edit/delete/lock any thread that is deemed inappropriate or over the line. If you wish to have a discussion that you know could spark controversy then email that to the admin(Mack) directly.
Posting Considerations
1) Is it encouraging?... Will it make the person that you are posting to feel better and/or bring him closer to healing and ending verbal abuse and control?
2) Is it necessary?... Will it be useful and practical to the person that you are posting to (or might it be unwanted counsel)?
3) Are you angry?.... Take a deep breath…Go Slow, Be careful, Show respect to others and let us know what is going on and we will listen.
4) Are you engaged in conversation that would be better done more privately?...If you have found a friend and want to chat, please do it in the journals.
5) Do you have a contrasting view? Do you disagree?... If so, PLEASE do it kindly and WITH HUMILITY.
6) Please do not post a message that you would not say to that person face to face.
7) MEVAC is a public place. Do not post email addresses, phone numbers or personal information for security reasons.
8) As a courtesy to other posters, please get permission before quoting someone's words in any place other than on the MEVAC bulletin board (i.e. emailing them to someone, another forum, e.t.c.)
9) To avoid name-calling you must post details. If you post a report or complaint of someone saying or doing something abusive or hurtful you must describe it in detail. If someone posts "my spouse has been so abusive lately it is killing me!" but they post no examples and details stating clearly what their spouse has done or said which is abusive then the complaint or report itself can be slanderous and abusive. Anyone accused of abuse or VAC behavior deserves to have the abuse clarified and named. Simply because someone has admitted to VAC behavior in the past does not mean that another person is now allowed to just state that there was abuse again without naming it specifically. Any posts with name calling, defining or blaming statements without details included will be deleted.
10) Please make your speech and word choices carefully. Moderators will edit or delete as necessary. Profanity will not be allowed. Users who use profanity will be removed. If in describing a situation it is necessary as a quote to use profanity use the asterisk system...the word edit becomes e***. No First Person Profanity or acronyms of profanity.
While we encourage discussion, please remember that we are not all the same. We come from different races, beliefs, and cultures. We must be respectful and mindful of the feelings of others. We are to be kind, gentle, and encouraging.
Men Ending Verbal Abuse and Control should always be Gentle, Stable, Humble, Loving, Caring, Compassionate, Empathetic, Strong in heart...Let's remember this while posting.
If you choose to participate on the MEVAC bulletin board, you are agreeing to follow these rules and guidelines whether or not you agree with the rules, administrators or moderators. MEVAC reserves the right to ban/deny membership to anyone who violates our rules and/or policies.