Mack
Administrator
Focus: Humility and Empathy
Posts: 1,515
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Post by Mack on Apr 25, 2012 8:14:10 GMT -5
Since joining MEVAC I've learned so much, I am a changed person. My marriage is completely renewed and it's a beautiful thing. I'm constantly working on myself to be the best husband and father and MEVAC had showed me the way. Thank you MEVAC and happy anniversary!
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Post by LoveMyWife on Sept 14, 2013 9:36:22 GMT -5
Since joining MEVAC I've learned so much, I am a changed person. My marriage is completely renewed and it's a beautiful thing. I'm constantly working on myself to be the best husband and father and MEVAC had showed me the way. Thank you MEVAC and happy anniversary! I am hoping to renew my marriage as I realize i have a problem. My wife and stepson deserved way more from me. The confusing part is how I did not realize what was happening to my wife, my marriage, my family and myself. Hopefully they will approve my participation so that I can get started on the full-site soon and have a similar story as yours. God bless. |
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Post by ArchangelGuest on Sept 22, 2014 20:36:52 GMT -5
I'm new to this board and NEED help to get me through my vac problems. How do i get passed the "pending approval" phase?
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Post by trev on Sept 22, 2014 21:43:41 GMT -5
Stay patient Archangel!
I can't remember myself exactly, and I am not sure how long you have been waiting, but I believe it took about 24-30 hours until I got my email that I know had access.
Until then, please read through all that you can find here on site, and I look forward to hearing more from you.
By the way, let me be the first to tell you that this place really works. Coming here, doing the work, and making the changes are the best moves you will ever make for yourself and your family. It takes a lot of courage to come and ask for help and you have earned my respect with that already.
Trev
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Post by ArchangelGuest on Sept 22, 2014 22:07:36 GMT -5
ArchangelGuest,
Your first order of business needs to be to actually register with a username and password. People can come on to the site and will be able to view a very limited number of things until registered.
You will not have much access as a guest.
Once registered I will create a Profile for you with you as a Provisional Member, which gives you access to everything except the Journals and the Weekly Conference Calls. Access to those is granted after telling your story, developing a Twice Daily Regimen and doing some required reading, like Controlling People by Patricia Evans.
I look forward to hearing more from you,
Agate
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Post by ArchangelGuest on Sept 23, 2014 9:53:15 GMT -5
Thank you, Trev. I am SO VERY looking forward to it.
Agate, I did register yesterday. The username is Archangel. I'm very interested in getting involved and begining my reforms. There's not a lot out there for us VACs so I'm very happy to have found you all. I am so anxious to engage.
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Post by ArchangelGuest on Sept 24, 2014 6:06:05 GMT -5
Hi gents. I registered on Monday, but I'm still "Pending Staff Approval" ... is there something else I should be doing to get my application processed?
Thank you.
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Post by Stark on Oct 9, 2014 16:06:47 GMT -5
I too am trying to get approved. I registered a few days ago. Is there something else I should be doing? And thank you for the great resource!
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Archangel
P-RVAC (Provisional) 
Learning to daily be Open, at Peace, Humble, Empathatic and to Listen.
Posts: 21 
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Post by Archangel on Oct 10, 2014 8:10:39 GMT -5
Stark,
Glad you found us and dont give up on it man. It DOES take a while. Patience is part of the lesson - even here. I drove Agate hard to try to get my application processed to the point that he finally called me and counseled peace and patience. As you can see I'm still just provisional. I am hopeful to move to the full membership where I can do the Thursday conference calls and journaling, but in the meantime I'm learning more patience. Keep at it brother.
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Post by Bud12 Guest on Oct 10, 2014 13:42:43 GMT -5
Hey, Stark. I am in the same boat as you. Having finally learned what is wrong with me, I am anxious to get started on fixing myself. MEVAC seems to be one of the few resources available to help VAC men. While I wait, I am reading some of Patricia Evans' books and working my way through some materials from Lundy Bancroft that my wife gave me. Although I definitely feel the need to talk to other men like me (and thus am anxious to secure access to MEVAC), I have found that the Patricia Evans books and Lundy Bancroft materials are helpful. I have written a plan for myself (detailing what I need to change, etc.), which includes daily journaling and writing weekly progress letters to my wife. I have found sitting down to write about my issues to be particularly enlightening. None of these things substitutes for the support network that I am hoping MEVAC will provide, but they have helped me begin the journey while I wait. I wish you the best of luck.
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Post by chuckr8620 on Oct 18, 2014 0:41:35 GMT -5
Hi bud,
hey, I hope it's okay, I just couldn't resist that. I sure hope that you get a regular place here soon, it's usually pretty quick. I think that both you and archangel are already on the right track. It's so tough to get to admit that you may have screwed up, and screwed up badly, but you will soon find out, if not already, that you are in a pretty big boat together. The good news is that we can alll row together and in helping each other we halp ourselves. If you continue coming here and actually take your reform seriosly, it's almost impossible NOT to change, and in having the changes be truly good ones. We all have the possibility of changing inside of us. The whole premise of theater is that by seeing others deal with traumas in other people's lives, we can change ourselves in profound ways.
Reading PE and Lundy are good ways to start. Lundy has some tough words sometimes ( as does Patricia) but in the end, he really is on the side of being able to change. So hang in there guys, it's hard, but we can and WILL do this. Hear from you soon.
peace,
chuck
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Post by Earl1944 on Jan 26, 2015 13:51:05 GMT -5
Hi guys,
I submitted my request for an MEVAC account on 1/21/15 and I have sent Mack an email to his gmail account on 1/23 and again this morning but I haven't received any other communication except the initial Proboards confirmation to activate a Proboards account. Is there anything else I should do? I think I've read though all the threads & posts that I can access, trying to find an "Easter Egg" that might direct me toward what next step I need to take, but closest thing I've found is this thread and Archangel, Stark and Bud12 reaching out for help, too. I find it hopeful that through Archangel's persistence he finally was granted access, but it is also discouraging that it doesn't look like Bud12 & Stark ever were approved. I also saw that mjgodsen is the newest member so that confirms to me that new members are being approved this month. I read above that TREV said it takes about 24-30 hours and I did the math and it took Archangel from a Monday to a Wednesday to get approved. I read Archangel said it takes patience and that's what I'm trying to practice, but at the same time I want to start on the road to getting to be a better man, husband and father.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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Post by IWantToHeal on Jan 26, 2015 19:18:38 GMT -5
Hello Earl1944. Welcome to MEVAC. In you initial email you should have received a todo list. Make sure you complete it. If you have, you will have to exercise patience but i am sure agate will contact you soon. Have you posted your personal story or twice daily regimen list yet? I ask because I haven't seen them yet. In the meantime, keep coming, keep reading, stay patient.
IWantToHeal66
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Post by Earl1944 on Jan 26, 2015 19:46:57 GMT -5
Thanks for your reply IWantToHeal66. I haven't received the todo list and I cannot access the other areas to post anything yet because my account hasn't been approved. Could you please email or PM agate and ask him to resend the todo list? So far I've received the following emails but a todo list wasn't included (I've also been regularly checking my SPAM folder): Your activation key is: ********************************** Click to activate: login.proboards.com/activation/***************************************You can log in with your username or email address when visiting this forum: mevac.proboards.com----------------------------- Thank you for creating your ProBoards account and forum account at MEVAC - Men Ending Verbal Abuse and Control! Your activation key is: ******************************** login.proboards.com/activation/*******************************Your forum account is currently pending approval from a forum staff member. Once the account has been approved, you will receive a confirmation email. --------------------------------------------------- Thank you for activating your ProBoards account! You can log in with your username or email address when visiting this forum: mevac.proboards.com |
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Post by IWantToHeal on Jan 27, 2015 10:36:26 GMT -5
Hello earl1944. Continue to be patient. I jumped the gun above. Your provisional membership is still pending approval. It takes a little time...
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Post by Earl1944 on Jan 27, 2015 11:03:37 GMT -5
IWantToHeal,
Thanks for checking on it for me.
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Post by IWantToHeal on Jan 27, 2015 21:26:49 GMT -5
Hello Earl1944. I didn't check with agate on anything - this is just the normal routine of gaining access to MEVAC. Best wishes my friend and hope to hear more from you in the near future.
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Post by Earl1944 on Jan 29, 2015 14:51:36 GMT -5
Hi guys, it's been over a week now and I haven't heard anything. Please don't forget about me...
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Post by Lee on Jan 30, 2015 22:17:37 GMT -5
Hi Earl,
I'll message Agate. Something strange is going on with your account, as guests should not be able to post here, and you should have received a response by now. I do know that Agate has been offline for a spell just recently ... perhaps that is the cause.
Hang in there ... we will figure it out and get you access. Don't give up as this place it, by far, the best thing on the planet when it comes to helping us to battle some very nasty behaviors. This place works.
More soon,
Lee
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Post by Newbie on Feb 20, 2015 10:32:54 GMT -5
I have been verbally abusive and controlling to my wife for nine years. I am a broken man who wants to change for the better. I am so glad that GOD has led me here I am ready to start my healing process.
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Post by Newbie on Feb 20, 2015 14:36:06 GMT -5
I registered with this site yesterday I cannot use my real username because it says its already taken. Can Simone please help me with this?
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Post by agate on Feb 20, 2015 15:36:43 GMT -5
Newbie,
I'm sorry, but if the username you would like to use has already been taken, you will have to come up with an alternative. And if you are not "properly" registered,
I will not be able to adjust your profile and get you started with all of the reading material available on the site.
If you have any additional questions or concerns, you are welcome to send me an e-mail directed to: agatemevac@gmail.com
I'll do everything I can to try and help you.
Agate
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Post by Newbie on Feb 21, 2015 11:39:56 GMT -5
Email has been sent with subject as newbie.
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Post by Jared. on Mar 18, 2015 16:20:11 GMT -5
I have a problem with verbal abuse and control. I registered 5 days ago and am not sure if there's something I need to do to be approved
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Post by jon49er on Mar 18, 2015 16:30:24 GMT -5
Jared
Hang in there buddy..
Please be patience.. You should be receiving an email from a gentleman named Agate in the next few days..
I understand you probably want to get help ASAP. In the meantime, please go purchase the book Controlling People by Patrica Evans and start reading it.
Her book is a prerequisite for entry into the journal section. This should give you a head start.
Take Care,
Jon
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Post by Soldier on Mar 19, 2015 6:42:03 GMT -5
Hey Jared,
Wanted to say hello and welcome. I remember when I first came here and thought "man this process is taking forever" when in reality it was a few weeks from start to finish. You are in the right spot and will find so much help here not just for VAC behaviors but for being a better man in general. I agree with Jon about getting "Controlling People" and reading it through. Many of us needed to read parts of that book more than once to fully grasp what it was saying. Many more read it yearly just to glean more information form the material within.
Keep coming back and ask as many questions as you have. God bless brother.
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jared
P-RVAC (Provisional)
Posts: 4
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Post by jared on Mar 19, 2015 19:09:31 GMT -5
Thank you guys so much for accepting my application. I can't begin to express how grateful I am that this site and you guys are around. I've already read The Abusive Relationship and have started Controlling People since I realized that I'm VAC. I'm currently working on my story and will post it as soon as I'm able.
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Post by IWantToHeal on Mar 19, 2015 20:44:05 GMT -5
Hello jared. i don't believe I have extended a welcome to you but here it is. Welcome to MEVAC. This site will change your life for the better the more you put into it and the longer stay around. Keep reading and absorbing what you can here. I'm looking forward to reading your story.
Well wishes.
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Post by yep in waiting on Jun 11, 2015 12:01:56 GMT -5
Hello Earl1944. Welcome to MEVAC. In you initial email you should have received a todo list. Make sure you complete it. If you have, you will have to exercise patience but i am sure agate will contact you soon. Have you posted your personal story or twice daily regimen list yet? I ask because I haven't seen them yet. In the meantime, keep coming, keep reading, stay patient. IWantToHeal66 I am rather anxious myself. I started this quest in order to show that I was doing something about my abusive nature. Now I find myself actually wanting to change. I don't like being mean. I've started reading " The Verbally Abusive Relationship". I find much of what refers to the victim relates to me as well. I went through a long abusive marriage and am now in a slightly abusive relationship. While my GF has past emotional scaring, I feel she tests my anger. I know that does sounds like a copout, yet I find the book tends to back me up. I react to certain stimulus. Something the author seems to downplay as verbal abuse. I tend to disagree in that my words become far worst than the stimulus. I am not looking for more excuses. I am an abuser, as described in many of the details. I go to far. Mind you, I do like the book and feel it will be of great help. I would like to see some discussion on it, hopefully get into the forums. The threads so far have been a lot of help. Real men control themselves and there is no reason for abuse. |
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Post by yep in waiting317 on Jun 16, 2015 5:27:53 GMT -5
Hello Earl1944. Welcome to MEVAC. In you initial email you should have received a todo list. Make sure you complete it. If you have, you will have to exercise patience but i am sure agate will contact you soon. Have you posted your personal story or twice daily regimen list yet? I ask because I haven't seen them yet. In the meantime, keep coming, keep reading, stay patient. IWantToHeal66 I am rather anxious myself. I started this quest in order to show that I was doing something about my abusive nature. Now I find myself actually wanting to change. I don't like being mean. I've started reading " The Verbally Abusive Relationship". I find much of what refers to the victim relates to me as well. I went through a long abusive marriage and am now in a slightly abusive relationship. While my GF has past emotional scaring, I feel she tests my anger. I know that does sounds like a copout, yet I find the book tends to back me up. I react to certain stimulus. Something the author seems to downplay as verbal abuse. I tend to disagree in that my words become far worst than the stimulus. I am not looking for more excuses. I am an abuser, as described in many of the details. I go to far. Mind you, I do like the book and feel it will be of great help. I would like to see some discussion on it, hopefully get into the forums. The threads so far have been a lot of help. Real men control themselves and there is no reason for abuse. |
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