Post by Mack on Jan 4, 2011 7:01:07 GMT -5
I am a woman who has dealt with verbal abuse many times, in many ways, from many people. Including myself.
My father was a verbal abuser for many years. He was one of the rare men of that time who recognized what he was and resolved to change. And he did change. He died too young at 52. I can only imagine how MEVAC would have helped him!
My mother was, during my early years, a passive-aggressive controller. She changed too. But unfortunately I never got over the abuse I experienced daily as a child and young teen-ager. As an adult I began to rage at people when they hurt me, whether they intended to or not. I knew what I was, and I did not like myself. I drove away at least one wonderful boyfriend and numerous friends.
Fortunately I sought therapy for help in managing my anger. With the help of a therapist, I began to recognize my triggers and calm myself, first during, then before I would lose my temper. Today I no longer rage and seldom even raise my voice.
Unfortunately I married a man who is a passive-aggressive controller. Part of how he was able to control me was by using my temper to say I overreacted to his abusive statements. This was very confusing to me because, like I said before, I did have rages.
MEVAC helped me the most with their lists: 1) Do You Ever, and 2) Have You Ever Said. I realized my husband had been verbally abusive since the start of our relationship. He did not learn these things from me! Finally, I've been validated!
**If you are visiting here because you're told you're a verbal abuser, please write to the administrator (Mack) and tell him your story. You can change, and MEVAC will help you! There is hope - trust me, I've been there!**
You owe this to your family, but most of all you owe it to yourself. MEVAC will help you connect with the wonderful person who exists underneath your abusive "way of being." Yes you will become a better partner and/or father, but you will earn the most important person of all - YOU!
Jojo25
My father was a verbal abuser for many years. He was one of the rare men of that time who recognized what he was and resolved to change. And he did change. He died too young at 52. I can only imagine how MEVAC would have helped him!
My mother was, during my early years, a passive-aggressive controller. She changed too. But unfortunately I never got over the abuse I experienced daily as a child and young teen-ager. As an adult I began to rage at people when they hurt me, whether they intended to or not. I knew what I was, and I did not like myself. I drove away at least one wonderful boyfriend and numerous friends.
Fortunately I sought therapy for help in managing my anger. With the help of a therapist, I began to recognize my triggers and calm myself, first during, then before I would lose my temper. Today I no longer rage and seldom even raise my voice.
Unfortunately I married a man who is a passive-aggressive controller. Part of how he was able to control me was by using my temper to say I overreacted to his abusive statements. This was very confusing to me because, like I said before, I did have rages.
MEVAC helped me the most with their lists: 1) Do You Ever, and 2) Have You Ever Said. I realized my husband had been verbally abusive since the start of our relationship. He did not learn these things from me! Finally, I've been validated!
**If you are visiting here because you're told you're a verbal abuser, please write to the administrator (Mack) and tell him your story. You can change, and MEVAC will help you! There is hope - trust me, I've been there!**
You owe this to your family, but most of all you owe it to yourself. MEVAC will help you connect with the wonderful person who exists underneath your abusive "way of being." Yes you will become a better partner and/or father, but you will earn the most important person of all - YOU!
Jojo25