Post by Mack on Dec 31, 2010 20:04:44 GMT -5
I am a recovering verbal abuser and controller. I realised something was badly wrong in my marriage. The arguments and my abuse of my wife peaked with me hitting her. (For the first and only time) It was at that point I sought counselling. 6 months into the counselling I was struggling to find any structured recovery. I understood pieces of my issues but could not put them together.
I found the MEVAC website and talked with Mack. That call and the information on the website gave me hope. Mack was able to describe to me the picture on the jigsaw box. I could begin to pick up the pieces and put them together.
I also found that there were other men like me. There were other women like my wife too. The whole of the MEVAC website and users have been very friendly and supportive.
There is a program of activities which, when followed as a package, help to recover from being an abuser. There are different areas of the website which give privacy to users.
The journalling program for me was a huge part of my change. Every day events and abusive events are described in detail. Other men offer their perspective, experience and support.
I have been with MEVAC for just over 12 months. My life is completely changed in that year. Looking back to before I hit my wife I feel I was at war with myself. Everything needed to be done a particular way, I had strong opinions on everything, if my wife disagreed I would argue until she gave in. I recognise that now was abuse.
Now I feel at peace with my world. My children notice a different Dad, one that cares and hugs. My marriage has not survived the abuse, my wife and I maintained counselling and worked together for over 12 months. In the end we both agreed the damage done during the abuse is just too much for us to trust working together longer. I will maintain a good relationship towards my wife as an ex husband. I believe none of these achievements would have been possible without MEVAC.
My first hour talking with Mack is I believe the best hour I have ever spent in my recovery.
Phil (Philster on the MEVAC website)
I found the MEVAC website and talked with Mack. That call and the information on the website gave me hope. Mack was able to describe to me the picture on the jigsaw box. I could begin to pick up the pieces and put them together.
I also found that there were other men like me. There were other women like my wife too. The whole of the MEVAC website and users have been very friendly and supportive.
There is a program of activities which, when followed as a package, help to recover from being an abuser. There are different areas of the website which give privacy to users.
The journalling program for me was a huge part of my change. Every day events and abusive events are described in detail. Other men offer their perspective, experience and support.
I have been with MEVAC for just over 12 months. My life is completely changed in that year. Looking back to before I hit my wife I feel I was at war with myself. Everything needed to be done a particular way, I had strong opinions on everything, if my wife disagreed I would argue until she gave in. I recognise that now was abuse.
Now I feel at peace with my world. My children notice a different Dad, one that cares and hugs. My marriage has not survived the abuse, my wife and I maintained counselling and worked together for over 12 months. In the end we both agreed the damage done during the abuse is just too much for us to trust working together longer. I will maintain a good relationship towards my wife as an ex husband. I believe none of these achievements would have been possible without MEVAC.
My first hour talking with Mack is I believe the best hour I have ever spent in my recovery.
Phil (Philster on the MEVAC website)