Post by Mack on Jan 3, 2011 6:26:21 GMT -5
Why I recommend MEVAC to every man who has been asked to STOP abusing a person whom he loves:
MEVAC is the place that any man who has discovered that he has been verbally abusive with his spouse, family member, friends or work associates and who wants to STOP being abusive; needs to be.
As a victim/survivor of verbal abuse (and other abuses), I truly believe that any man who will commit to acquiring and maintaining humility and empathy will have the greatest opportunity to overcome the abusive impulses in relationships and can experience not only healing but restoration of their own minds and hearts as well as relationships. I have seen a very rare accountability and authenticity to the lives of Mack and the men who have committed to being healed of this insidious behavior that leads to abuse and the destruction of marriages, relationships and lives. MEVAC is a program that is far exceeding anything else that is offered to men who want to learn what being a real man truly is.
I have seen first hand in my own marriage; how denial of verbal abuse is continued abuse. I have told my husband that to "deny that he has been abusive; does not make him "NOT a verbal abuser", he will STILL be a verbal abuser who has no wife. I have felt the deep pain of betrayal and hatred and verbal and emotional abuse and repercussions for trying to break free of his abuse and control. I have cried and begged and pleaded and went to counseling with him only to be told that "we need to learn to communicate" and in my husband's mind that meant I needed "to obey him better" so his "righteous" angry would "not have to come out" at me. This is abuse. My husband he has deceived himself into believing that “he has the right” as a man of faith; to control and demand that I “submit” to him…what he does not understand and to this day has not admitted, is that his behavior has been abusive and unloving. Abuse does NOT exist where LOVE is. I have felt very unloved and “used”. Though I am healing, he is still denying that he has EVER been verbally abusive to me. (and this is only one of several types of abuse)
I only pray that he will come to MEVAC, be willing to see himself and be willing to STOP being abusive to “get his way”. After 11 years, I had separated from my husband with our son in hopes that our marriage might be saved. It has been over a year and his denial of abuse continues. A wife does NOT have a man or husband when he is a verbal abuser in denial. I have decided for my son and I that we will no longer live daily with the verbal abusive and controlling behavior that kills.
Abuse kills. It kills hopes, dreams and love. It kills relationships that we all so badly want and need. It kills all the things that “we love”. On MEVAC (Men ending verbal abuse and control) I have witnessed the deep remorse and guilt that a man’s abusive behavior has brought to him and his family. These are whole hearted and honest men who have begun to realize how they have thoughtlessly and possibly even unconsciously abused the power given to them as a man in ways that destroyed the relationship and person who could most help them in their healing. Their marriage and wife.
I applaud the men of MEVAC, I believe that any man who will respect a woman who has been battered by his words to agree that his behavior has been verbal abuse and then takes the steps to STOP the abuse; is a “man above men”, a real man. A real man STOPS verbal abuse and domestic abuse.
I am proud to have been part and have met these valiant men who are rising above the “world’s expectations” and setting for themselves a higher standard of being “a man”. I applaud them and hope that they know the honor that they bring to their gender, communities and families by committing to MEVAC and conquering verbal abusive behavior.
May God bless each and every one of you.
Most sincerely,
DRM (FreeSpirit)
MEVAC is the place that any man who has discovered that he has been verbally abusive with his spouse, family member, friends or work associates and who wants to STOP being abusive; needs to be.
As a victim/survivor of verbal abuse (and other abuses), I truly believe that any man who will commit to acquiring and maintaining humility and empathy will have the greatest opportunity to overcome the abusive impulses in relationships and can experience not only healing but restoration of their own minds and hearts as well as relationships. I have seen a very rare accountability and authenticity to the lives of Mack and the men who have committed to being healed of this insidious behavior that leads to abuse and the destruction of marriages, relationships and lives. MEVAC is a program that is far exceeding anything else that is offered to men who want to learn what being a real man truly is.
I have seen first hand in my own marriage; how denial of verbal abuse is continued abuse. I have told my husband that to "deny that he has been abusive; does not make him "NOT a verbal abuser", he will STILL be a verbal abuser who has no wife. I have felt the deep pain of betrayal and hatred and verbal and emotional abuse and repercussions for trying to break free of his abuse and control. I have cried and begged and pleaded and went to counseling with him only to be told that "we need to learn to communicate" and in my husband's mind that meant I needed "to obey him better" so his "righteous" angry would "not have to come out" at me. This is abuse. My husband he has deceived himself into believing that “he has the right” as a man of faith; to control and demand that I “submit” to him…what he does not understand and to this day has not admitted, is that his behavior has been abusive and unloving. Abuse does NOT exist where LOVE is. I have felt very unloved and “used”. Though I am healing, he is still denying that he has EVER been verbally abusive to me. (and this is only one of several types of abuse)
I only pray that he will come to MEVAC, be willing to see himself and be willing to STOP being abusive to “get his way”. After 11 years, I had separated from my husband with our son in hopes that our marriage might be saved. It has been over a year and his denial of abuse continues. A wife does NOT have a man or husband when he is a verbal abuser in denial. I have decided for my son and I that we will no longer live daily with the verbal abusive and controlling behavior that kills.
Abuse kills. It kills hopes, dreams and love. It kills relationships that we all so badly want and need. It kills all the things that “we love”. On MEVAC (Men ending verbal abuse and control) I have witnessed the deep remorse and guilt that a man’s abusive behavior has brought to him and his family. These are whole hearted and honest men who have begun to realize how they have thoughtlessly and possibly even unconsciously abused the power given to them as a man in ways that destroyed the relationship and person who could most help them in their healing. Their marriage and wife.
I applaud the men of MEVAC, I believe that any man who will respect a woman who has been battered by his words to agree that his behavior has been verbal abuse and then takes the steps to STOP the abuse; is a “man above men”, a real man. A real man STOPS verbal abuse and domestic abuse.
I am proud to have been part and have met these valiant men who are rising above the “world’s expectations” and setting for themselves a higher standard of being “a man”. I applaud them and hope that they know the honor that they bring to their gender, communities and families by committing to MEVAC and conquering verbal abusive behavior.
May God bless each and every one of you.
Most sincerely,
DRM (FreeSpirit)