Post by Mack on Jan 8, 2011 9:52:56 GMT -5
Does your husband appear to be indifferent to your needs? Do you sometimes feel as if you do not exist in the marriage? Are you feeling off-balance in your marriage? Do you try to tell your husband what is wrong while knowing he will not hear you? Do arguments leave your head reeling and your spirit crushed?
I used to feel like that until a good friend of mine one day mentioned the words "verbal abuse". That was all she did. She gave it a name. I had somewhere to start on my journey of getting my voice back and I have never looked back. My husband and I have been separated for 8 months now. People tell me I look happier, more at peace. I feel happier and more at peace.
I did a lot of reading about the subject and yes "verbal abuse and control" is real, it does exist. It has been around for ages as a means of controlling people It stems from fear and a lack of empathy. It is a the last remaining remnant of our patriarchal society. It stems from fear and it makes it victims crazy.
My husband is in denial. He has been brought up to believe that this is the right way to treat your wife. He is unable to respect me for who I am. I have tried everything to make him "see". It helped a little. He went for counseling and did the whole "Christian conversion thing" but it did not last long and was just window dressing in an attempt to get me back. I have cut off all conversation with him because it is rife with abuse and control. I can see it now so clearly.
I wanted to know what it will take for him to change his deeply ingrained beliefs and MEVAC showed me. It is my sincere belief that the men on MEVAC fully realize the extent of the problem. I admire them for tackling the problem, for tackling the bull by the horns and wrestling it to the ground. I admire them for holding each other accountable. I wish my husband was one of them because a real man does not back down from a challenge. My husband chose the path of least resistance. He will walk that path without me.
If you are a man who made your way to this website you have two choices. Are you going to learn how to connect with your wife, your real wife, the women she really is or are you going to believe that she has a "problem" and if you can just get enough leverage you can squeeze her back into the her "place".
Stand up and be counted. Marriage is not a war. Your wife was made to connect with you on an emotional level. You do not have to be afraid of her because God knew what he was doing when he made her.
To the men at MEVAC I want to say this: may God bless you and may your efforts be rewarded. May you enjoy relationships without fear and may you find true peace, happiness and strength.
From
"movingon"
I used to feel like that until a good friend of mine one day mentioned the words "verbal abuse". That was all she did. She gave it a name. I had somewhere to start on my journey of getting my voice back and I have never looked back. My husband and I have been separated for 8 months now. People tell me I look happier, more at peace. I feel happier and more at peace.
I did a lot of reading about the subject and yes "verbal abuse and control" is real, it does exist. It has been around for ages as a means of controlling people It stems from fear and a lack of empathy. It is a the last remaining remnant of our patriarchal society. It stems from fear and it makes it victims crazy.
My husband is in denial. He has been brought up to believe that this is the right way to treat your wife. He is unable to respect me for who I am. I have tried everything to make him "see". It helped a little. He went for counseling and did the whole "Christian conversion thing" but it did not last long and was just window dressing in an attempt to get me back. I have cut off all conversation with him because it is rife with abuse and control. I can see it now so clearly.
I wanted to know what it will take for him to change his deeply ingrained beliefs and MEVAC showed me. It is my sincere belief that the men on MEVAC fully realize the extent of the problem. I admire them for tackling the problem, for tackling the bull by the horns and wrestling it to the ground. I admire them for holding each other accountable. I wish my husband was one of them because a real man does not back down from a challenge. My husband chose the path of least resistance. He will walk that path without me.
If you are a man who made your way to this website you have two choices. Are you going to learn how to connect with your wife, your real wife, the women she really is or are you going to believe that she has a "problem" and if you can just get enough leverage you can squeeze her back into the her "place".
Stand up and be counted. Marriage is not a war. Your wife was made to connect with you on an emotional level. You do not have to be afraid of her because God knew what he was doing when he made her.
To the men at MEVAC I want to say this: may God bless you and may your efforts be rewarded. May you enjoy relationships without fear and may you find true peace, happiness and strength.
From
"movingon"